Forgive Me Father, But You Have Sinned

GLBT Week in Review, March 14, 2012
BY ANN ROSTOW


Forgive Me Father, But You Have Sinned

I am pleased to report that the horrible Catholic priest I wrote about a couple of weeks ago has been suspended by his bishop for “intimidating” parishioners. The priest, Marcel Guarnizo, refused to allow lesbian Barbara Johnson to take communion during her mother’s funeral in Maryland. Father Marcel then proceeded to skip out of the service and did not show up at the graveyard.

In the course of checking up on how to spell “Guarnizo,” I discovered a video of the good father making a speech at a pro-life rally. Contrary to my mental picture of the man, he was young, thin and wearing shades. He looked like a little rodent. At any rate, he is now on forced leave and it sounds like the Johnson funeral was the last straw in a large bundle amassed by the nasty priest.

After I watched the video, I surfed a little wave of lesbian news and read about a high school in Colorado Springs where the yearbook advisor insisted that students remove a photo of two girls holding hands. The photo was part of a montage of campus couples, and the advisor allegedly told the students that either they cut the girls or the entire page would be taken out of the book. In the end, the school did remove the entire page, ostensibly because there was too much public display of affection from the featured couples. Whatever. The story hit the press so there must be something to it, right?

In other news of lesbophobic high school authorities, a student in a Boston area public school was told to remove her shirt, which read: “All the cool girls are lesbians.” As you probably know from our many thrilling T-shirt controversies of the past, our public school students do not leave their constitutional rights at the schoolhouse gate.

That said, schools have the right to control the learning environment, and that right includes prohibiting disruptive behavior. Are T-Shirt slogans disruptive? Unless they are racist or obscene, the answer is almost always no. The lesbian shirt may have unnerved the Vice Principal, but as the ACLU informed the school in a letter, it cannot be censored.
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Romney’s Annoying Haircut

Now what? Did you see that our old friend Roy Moore has won the GOP nomination for Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court? Roy used to be Chief Justice down in the Red Tide State back in the day. When he first took office, he erected a gigantic Ten Commandments monument in the rotunda of the court building. He was sued, but when told to remove the two-ton constitutional offense from the premises, he refused. He refused a federal court order! While serving as Chief Justice of the state supreme court!

At any rate, he stepped down, or maybe was thrown out, I forget. And now, he’s back in the race and will have a chance to win his old job back next November. Ten-to-one this egomaniac commissions another Decalogue and engineers another Establishment Clause showdown. Did I mention that the showoff rode a horse to the polls on Tuesday? Oh, and here’s one last thing I didn’t know about Moore. I knew that he had run for governor once or twice without success, but he apparently considered a run for President last year. Il se prend pour qui, lui!

I’m watching MSNBC while I write and naturally the main topic of endless conversation is the GOP primary. I’m bringing this up only because they just showed a clip of Mittens on the hustings and I was reminded of another thing that I find greatly irritating about the man.

It’s his haircut. Mitt Romney’s stylist has deliberately crafted a little tuft of hair that comes off his forehead in an effort to give him a touch of insouciance. I can tell that the stylist used those special scissors that leave an irregular edge, so the tuft is kind of shaggy. But the thing is, this detail is obviously a product of a haircut that would put John Edwards to shame. It’s designed to make Mitt look casual, but in fact it delivers the exact opposite impression because everyone can tell that the tuft is a result of a metrosexual salon session rather than manly indifference to perfect hair.
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Sue Lively

I did a quick gay google just now and I’m very sad to report that our favorite Memphis Grizzly, Rudy Gay, is out with a concussion. Rudy struggled with a shoulder injury last season, which was dutifully covered in this column as part of our commitment to all things gay. Get well soon, Rudy. Our community is pulling for you.

In other news, the gay rights group, Sexual Minorities Uganda, has sued antigay activist Scott Lively in federal court in Boston, accusing Lively of violating international law by inciting hatred against gays in Uganda. I didn’t know this kind of vague international suit was permitted in the U.S. courts, but apparently it is. The alien tort statute allows foreigners to use the American court system to litigate violations of international law, but I’m still not clear on whether or not one can tie Lively to actual violence or harm to Ugandan gays.

Nonetheless, I think it’s a great move. It draws attention to the horrors of African homophobia. It will complicate Mr. Lively’s life, which is a good thing. And it may discourage other American evangelicals from antigay lobbying around the globe.

Lively was the instigator of a conference on homosexuality in Uganda where he and his likeminded buddies warned local politicians and others of the dangers associated with homosexuality, including the tendency of gay men to recruit and molest children. This conference and others on the same theme inspired a Ugandan lawmaker to introduce a bill making homosexuality a capital crime, subject to the death penalty. Although that bill never made it through the legislature, there’s another one now pending that calls for heavy prison sentences for gays and lesbians.

According to the New York Times, Lively lives in Springfield, Massachusetts, where he operates a coffee shop called Holy Ground Coffee House. He is the author of several lofty titles, including: “The Pink Swastica; Homosexuality in the Nazi Party,” as well as “Seven Steps to Recruit Proof Your Child.”

I couldn’t resist taking a look at Chapter One of the latter publication, which argued that society’s increasingly tolerant attitude towards gays is a result of a sustained strategic effort by the gay community to recruit more gays and lesbians. (Works for me.)

“Just because you wouldn't have experimented with homosexuality, it doesn't follow that your child won't,” writes Lively. “On the other hand, if you did experiment with homosexuality and stopped because you were ashamed or were otherwise deterred by fear of social disapproval, consider what might have happened to you if you had conducted such an experiment in today's ‘gay-affirming’ climate.”

Um. I think you might have ended up being happy and gay rather than miserable and ashamed. I know it’s a trite observation, but you really have to wonder about men like Lively who seem clearly obsessed with sex and sexual orientation. I remember that one of those sessions in Uganda included a fisting film to illustrate the grotesque technicalities of gay sex. I suspect there were a lot of crossed legs after the lights went up. And let’s not forget our friend Peter LaBarbera, who spends his time investigating men’s sex clubs “under cover” as part of his research on homosexuality.

In related news, the producers of the viral video that calls attention to the brutal Ugandan warlord, Joseph Kony, are reportedly funded in part by right wing Christian groups and individuals, including some of the most generous backers of Prop 8. Recent annual reports of the non-profit group Invisible Children give thanks to prop 8 backers Terry and Barbara Caster as well as the anti-gay National Christian Foundation.
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Reprieve for Another Binat Couple

Moving right along, an immigration judge in Houston has dismissed deportation proceedings against a Costa Rican man who is married to an American. This is the latest example of immigration authorities giving a break to same-sex couples, a result not only of the Obama administration’s decision to attack the Defense of Marriage Act in court, but also an example of the move last August to prioritize deportations of criminals and other unsavory characters.

The problem is that the foreign spouse in these cases is still barred from getting residency or working papers. Gay leaders have asked the administration to stop rejecting green card applications from same-sex spouses, but to keep the applications on hold pending the eventual demise of the Defense of Marriage Act. But the administration continues to deny these applications, walking a fine line between enforcing DOMA with one hand while trying to get it killed with the other.

We’ll see, won’t we? I think I told you last week that a binational same-sex couple has been given the go ahead by a federal judge in Illinois to sue the government for denial of equal protection.
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Tabloids Tattle on Travolta

Let’s see. I’m really not thrilled with the rest of the news, although I did read that John Travolta hired a massage artist off Craigs List and then offered the man $200 for sex. You don’t believe me? It’s straight from the National Enquirer, where the editors made the guy take a lie detector test. It must be true.

I also saw that the actress who co-starred in the X Files admitted that she’s had a few lesbian flings. See, I told you our recruitment strategy was working.

Other than that, I’ve got a workplace discrimination suit brought by a lesbian teacher against a Texas college. There are quite a few nice polls floating around that indicate support for marriage equality is on the rise. In Washington, the Secretary of State has approved language for a ballot measure to repeal the new marriage law. I gather the language is not too bad for our side, so that’s all good. And the Omaha city council has approved something gay-related. I could look it up if you really wanted me to. I think it might be partner benefits for city staff? No. Actually the council approved a citywide antidiscrimination ordinance. And the X Files costar is Gillian Anderson.

In other words, with all respect to the city of Omaha and Ms. Anderson, the news is, quite frankly, lackluster. Happily, I am almost done with this week’s column so I can exit the gay rubric and tell you instead about the sixth grade assistant boys basketball coach in Springfield, Massachusetts (home of Scott Lively if you recall) who lost the championship game, attacked the winning coach and bit off his ear. The man fled the gymnasium, but was later caught and charged with whatever it is one charges a maniac psychopath basketball coach. The victim was rushed to the hospital, where surgeons were able to reattach his ear.

Talk about March Madness.

You should know, by the way, that I have submitted my first official NCAA bracket, which is part of an actual online group. I am nearly seven years into my relationship with my wife, a college basketball freak (let’s be honest) who has slowly but surely brought me from total indifference to looking up Belmont’s strength of schedule statistics and agonizing over whether to advance Alabama or Creighton. I went with the Tide.

Mel is not only a basketball fan, but a Jayhawk as well. These people are uber fans, and every time Kansas plays we have to put our Jayhawk flag out in the yard, wear Jayhawk shirts, wave our arms in the air like wheat during free throws, and drink shots if the game is close. When there’s less than a minute left in the game and Kansas is way ahead, we sing a droning Gregorian victory chant and have another shot.

All and all, you can see why I became a basketball fan as well.
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Ann’s column is available every week at sfbaytimes.com. You can reach her at arostow@aol.com.