Apres Mitt, Le Deluge

GLBT Week in Review, October 17, 2012
BY ANN ROSTOW



Apres Mitt, Le Deluge

Buzzfeed’s Chris Geidner, the best reporter on GLBT legal issues, has a good piece on the impact of a Romney victory on our challenges to the Defense of Marriage Act now pending before the U.S. Supreme Court. To paraphrase, if Romney wins, we’re screwed.

Oh, not totally. It’s still possible that the High Court could strike the Defense of Marriage Act even if the Justice Department changes the official position of the United States government. But it’s somewhat less likely, don’t you think?

You recall that the Obama administration has refused to defend the Defense of Marriage Act based on a conviction that sexual orientation discrimination should be held to a tough legal standard like cases of race or faith-based bias. But that policy, which puts the power of the Justice Department on our side, will simply be reversed if Romney wins the presidency.

Further, since the High Court is apparently waiting until after November 6 to decide whether or not to take review of one or more DOMA cases, it’s pretty clear that the justices would delay the whole process if Romney were to win.

Even though Obama would remain in office until late January, the Court would surely ask the incoming Justice Department to present their views. Likewise, the status of the House Republicans who are currently defending DOMA would come into play. If the Justice Department reverts to defending DOMA, there’s no need for the House to continue in its current role. Well, just read Geidner’s post. It’s complicated. Or as Ming Ming of the Wonder Pets would say: “This. Is. Sewious.”

Here in our own trenchant review of GLBT law and politics, we have often harped on the strangely underappreciated impact of Obama’s decision two years ago to put the country’s legal stamp on the notion that gay bias is presumptively unconstitutional.

Remember when everyone was all hot under the collar because Obama had yet to officially come out in favor of marriage equality? Hey, it was great that he did, but in all the hoopla surrounding that symbolic statement, we seemed oblivious to the fact that he had already put his money where his mouth had yet to go. Obama has exceeded our community’s hopes and dreams for a leader, and he has done so, under the radar, using the most effective tactic under his command--- constitutional law. (Recall that I bashed Obama on his lackadaisical approach to gay rights for a full two years prior to February 2011, so I’m not a natural sycophant.)
--


Long Island Railroad

The vast majority of GLBT voters are Democrats or leaning left, but back in 2000, 25 percent of the gay vote went to George W Bush. You can attribute Bush’s victory to the dice or slice of any demographic, but the fact is, GLBT Republicans made the difference. Please gay Republicans, don’t do it this time around. You can tack back to the right at the midterms, but stick with the larger community just this once.

I’m guessing, and hoping, that four years from now, not even a Republican administration will be comfortable leading an antigay charge. But as far as we’ve come, we’re still poised on the cusp of equality and now is not the moment to take a step back.

Under these circumstances, it was with profound relief that I watched Obama crush Romney in last night’s debate. I know my biased reaction is not universal, but it’s important that Obama fans like me viewed the debate as a TKO. That means that mild supporters thought he won, and Romney voters felt at least a frisson of disappointment.

Their man was hectoring. He stumbled on issues. His T was way too high. He looked petulant. The “act of terror” vignette was like the pick six late in the fourth quarter that puts your team up by two touchdowns. And Obama’s last answer put the game away for good.

As for the “binders full of women,” Ladies, let’s give Romney a break. We’ve all been there.
--



Wallowing Out of the Closet

Moving on, you may or may not have noticed that the annual Coming Out Day has come and gone. Once a critical strategy for advancing public opinion in our direction, “coming out” has served its purpose and is drifting into the pages of history. No longer do middle-aged or thirty-something men and women creep out of closets. It’s something you do in your teens, and it’s not even a closet anymore.

Of course, there are exceptions, and I’m not trying to minimize the difficulty of being gay in many areas of the country or in many conservative enclaves. But things have changed. And to prove it, I’ve just learned that Honey Boo Boo’s uncle is a proud, openly gay man, who lives with his partner in rural Georgia.

Say what? You’ve never heard of Honey Boo Boo? She is the 7-year-old reality star who recently came out in favor of same-sex marriage. Now, we learn that Uncle Poodle may have had a hand in keeping his niece real. Honey Boo Boo reportedly heard someone calling a gay man a “poodle.” Her uncle explained that it was a gay slur, but encouraged Boo Boo to use it as an affectionate nickname.

“Make no mistake,” Uncle Poodle told the Georgia Voice, “I am still as redneck as I can get. My husband and I live in Milledgeville because we want to be out in the country, because we want to be somewhere we can fish and jump on a four wheeler, go hog wallowing.”

Here’s the thing. We are all out now. Not just the single men living in the Castro or the committed lesbians living in Park Slope. The slogan “we are everywhere” used to suggest to the average citizen that his or her doctor or butcher or candlestick maker might secretly be gay. Now the phrase can be taken literally.

I am reminded of the dramatic scene at the New Hampshire diner back before the primary. Mitt Romney approached a grizzled veteran, wearing a flannel shirt and a hat that indicated he had served in Vietnam. “Ah. A Vietnam vet,” chortled the candidate. When the man asked what Romney thought of gay marriage, Mitt proudly announced that marriage was between a man and a woman, smugly assuming that his position would meet with the man’s approval.

But then, the man asked why the same-sex spouse of a veteran should be denied benefits. Romney’s aides picked up on possible trouble and whisked Mittens to safety with a cursory goodbye. At once, the press descended on 63-year-old Bob Garon, asking why he cared about the issue.

“Because I’m gay, alright?” Garon growled. “And I happen to love a man just like you probably love your wife. Alright? And I think that he or she or whatever are entitled to the same rights that I have. I fought for my country, I did my thing, and I think that my spouse should be entitled to the same entitlements as if I was married to a woman.” (Find this on you tube.)

Bottom line? The community of openly gay men and women is not confined to florists and PE teachers anymore. We are your mechanics, your veterans, your bankers, your grocers and we can hog wallow with the best of you.
--


Don’t Bite Me, Bro

My news list this week includes the cryptic entry: “nose inmate,” a reference to a gay prisoner who got into a fight with a homophobe who chomped off his nose. Man alive! I’d look up the details for you but I think this item transcends the general theme of antigay violence.

First of all, let’s just stipulate that weird and horrible things happen to people in prison. You get stabbed with sharpened toothbrushes, sexually assaulted in the shower, sold to the guy in the next cell for a pack of smokes. Whatever. It seems like a hellish place. But second, anyone who would bite off someone’s nose is a psychopath. Does it matter if a psychopath is also “antigay?” Isn’t that sort of like objecting to the anti-Semitic views of a serial killer?

I also have a story about a Christian man who went “undercover” into the gay community and emerged (cue violins) with a deeper understanding of the trials and tribulations we take for granted. Oh, and a Greek TV censor killed a same-sex kiss on Downton Abbey. Hmmm. Even in the midst of economic, financial and societal crisis, we can still drill down to unearth a nugget of GLBT news out of Greece. Also, why haven’t we seen this same-sex kiss? I’ll check.

Turns out we did see it, although I missed the episode. Apparently Thomas, the scheming footman, kissed a visiting duke.
--


The Eyes Have It

Here’s something. I was just reading about a 10-year-old girl in Burien, Washington, who checked out a Japanese comic book from the local public library. Her uncle, clearly not a Poodle type, was appalled to discover that the publication featured detailed scenes of rough gay sex. (Guys who would like to follow up on this story can search for “Hero Heel” by Makoto Tateno, second volume.)

Honestly, I think society should make it extremely difficult for 10-year-olds to obtain graphic pornography, whether it be gay or straight. It’s reprehensible for a public library to isolate a gay family book like “Heather has Two Mommies,” a book that was expressly written for kids. But it’s quite reasonable to tuck volume two of “Hero Heel” in the back shelves of the adults-only Manga porn section. C’mon. If the pre-pubescent set really wants to get their hands on this sort of content, let them sneak around like every other generation.

In unrelated vaguely Japanese news, I’d like to point out that Paul Ryan has “sanpaku” eyes, the kind that show a lot of white underneath the iris. According to ancient lore, the characteristic presages an untimely death. Both John Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln were afflicted, as were Julius Caesar, Adolf Hitler, Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana.

I’m also reading that people with sanpaku eyes may be in poor physical or mental health and/or may be under a great deal of stress.

Interesting, don’t you think? I also just learned that Paul Ryan’s wife went to my tiny high school outside of Austin, Texas. I know you couldn’t care less, dear Readers, but it was an odd shock to my system. I gather the wannabe veep is holding a $1,000-a-plate lunch here in Austin tomorrow. I forget Ryan’s wife’s name, but I think we were told that she grew up in Oklahoma somewhere, and that Paul enjoys visiting her hometown where he can noodle catfish.

There was a time when I’d assume Ryan was tossing out these anecdotes in an effort to curry favor with a certain rightwing country cohort. Now, I don’t know what to think. How many gay men were hunkering down with Paul beside the creek with their arm down the throat of a fat catfish? Could Paul even tell?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to let go of my gay stereotypes and embrace my gay brothers in the mud flats and the crawfish ponds. It will take some time, that’s all. I may have to go through a transition period where I imagine these big fellas singing a few old show tunes in harmony in between noodles and wallows. Oklahoma would be most appropriate.
--


arostow@aol.com